Personal Statement

I'm working on my personal statement for epidemiology graduate school right now. The important thing to remember is that hundreds of people apply for a handful of spots. As a friend was just reminding me, it's no longer good enough to have perfect GRE scores, a 4.0 from an Ivy League university, and have started your own clinic in a rural African village. Your clinic needs to make surgery free and fun for kids. As I meet none of these minimal requirements I've gotten creative. To distinguish myself from the rabble, I've focused my research not on traditional subjects such as white men and impoverished children, but rather my work endeavors to bring the dead back to life. Not just the recently deceased either; I resurrect the really smelly, rotten dead people. Just give me greater than 50% of a body by noon and I'll have a gainfully employed Kinko’s staffer, payroll officer, or female conservative commentator by dinner time.