Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I Walk the Line Again: The Johnny Cash Movie Part II

I just got back from watching the Johnny Cash movie, "I Walk the Line", which I didn't see as quickly as I would of liked because I've been busy shooting "I Walk the Line Again", the sequel to the current Johnny Cash movie.

The first film in the Johnny Cash trilogy was good. Hardcore fans appreciated a scene in the end where Joaquin takes a lit cigarette out of Luther Perkin's mouth. In real life Luther dies when he falls asleep while smoking and this cigarette removal was a nod to Luther Perkins fans presumably.

However, I picture Johnny Cash being smarter, having a sense of humor, being more religious, and more Southern. June Carter is portrayed as particularly un-Southern. I'm not really sure how I measure Southern-ness, but I imagine two hicks being less uptight, depressive, and less aware of things like addiction. But alas, movies inevitably use broodiness to convey depth. Hollywood is reflecting the idea that creative people are morose not creating it so we can't blame them. People must hold on to ideas like humor kills creativity or gothy types will never get chicks.

Anyway I'm not here to complain about the situation. I'm here to rectify it. As I mentioned above I have been filming the next Johnny Cash movie. The first change you might notice between Cash movie I and Cash movie II is that Johnny Cash will no longer be played by Joaquin Phoenix and instead will be played by me. I was initially against this idea, but I relented to constant pressure from my staff. In my version of the Johnny Cash movie when Sam Philips first meets Johnny Cash (me), Philips will not give a sappy speech about keeping it real, but will say what the legend has him saying: "go out and sin, and then bring me something I can sell." Also the time Johnny Cash tried to get from his room to his bassist, Marshall Grant's, room by chopping through the hotel wall with an axe will play a prominent role in the film. In general Johnny Cash won't throw fits because of traumas in his life, but instead will break things because it's fun. Moreover, the plot will center around a well documented fight Johnny Cash had with an ostrich. Johnny Cash drunkenly tired to punch the ostrich and missed. The ostrich flew into the air and came down planting his ostrich, thumb-claw into Johnny Cash's sternum. Johnny Cash nearly died from the wound but had the presence of mind to bring his own supply of drugs to the hospital for fear the hospital might not have enough drugs. He concealed his personal stash under his stitches; however puss from the wound dissolved the pills and sent them into his blood stream. Some sort of delusional, frenzy ensued. Johnny Cash thought army commandos had taken over the hospital. He tried to fight them off, ran around the hospital, and had to be restrained by police. The film will conclude with Kris Kristofferson flying a helicopter on to Cash's lawn to drop off a demo tape. Then I will continue to talk and dress like Johnny Cash for several months after shooting.

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