Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
I came up with a new theory. People who are nice individually are often are dicks collectively, and vice-versa, dick countries on a global stage tend to have very friendly individuals. Take our own country, the USA. We're a wonderful people, but thanks to the Bush family, our good name has been smeared irretrievably, or at least for this decade. Now take the French: horrible one on one, but clear thinking and even benevolent internationally. The Canadians: often annoying individually, but pleasant as a country. Then consider the Yugoslav nations. We just had another delightful housemate from Bulgaria return home. We were all sad to see him go. These people are both friendly and surprisingly cool and hot, but lets face it, their leaders like to fight. The Brits, in the middle, and in the middle as always.
The mechanism for this relationship between nice people/jerk country is still forthcoming, but we at BFC believe it has something to do with nice people being too nice to prevent the jerk minority from taking over. A desire for power is certainly a key component of the asshole character, whereas nice people are better at working collectively. However, in asshole countries, people rightly assume their countrymen are also assholes, and they are able to cancel out the asshole majority, giving the nice minority a chance to run things. As a tourist, you experience a country as a collection of individuals rather than a group. Therefore, following this logic through, the housemate should go to Myanmar. Bon voyage!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
This exact thing happened to me in High School too. When my dog asked me to stop smoking pot, I just said I'll stop smoking pot when you stop eating poop. That shut him up for a few years.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
*Hallowed birthplace of Yaz--worthless sandy suburb and totally inferior to the Maine coast in all ways
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Could it be that Baltimore is entering a neoclassical phase? Well, a repressed but lovably quirky Pakistani-American friend of mine was awoken the other night by the sounds of a woman crying out in pain, she thought. What did it turn out to be? You guessed it. She peeked out the window and saw an interracial homosexual couple doing it by the light of the street lamp. I asked the woman if she woke up her husband, and she said, "No, we're in a fight."
Remember boys, this aint 21BC anymore. Be safe.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
BFC: I also listen to the wine.
BFC: [BFC turns his head and presses his ear to the wine glass. He then lowers the glass and faces you again.] The wine says the beauty of this evening is matched only by your own beauty.
BFC: [He presses his ear to the wine glasses again, and again he looks up.] The wine says one of your breasts is larger than the other, but I find them both stunning, especially the larger one.
BFC: [Again he listens to the wine and looks up.] The wine says you have an illegitimated half brother from an affair of your father's 32 years ago. Don't worry, your father extricated himself from the relationship, and the young mother never tracked him down. Your half brother is a carny, not a performer, but the guy who puts up the tents. He is quite respected in his field.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
I am now in my spot at work drinking coffee while covered in Bengay in honor of the outing.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
On the other hand, I don't like Jack Nicholson. I just don't think he's a good actor anymore.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
It should also be noted that Robert Reich blogs on blogger. It's really time to move on.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Did you hear Jeter and A-Rod hate each other? I mean they won't admit to a life long brothership, therefore they hate each other. As I've always said: no pledge of life long brothership by Jeter and A-Rod = hate each other.
Monday, February 19, 2007
The other interesting thing about the song and my mix is that there are multiple versions of "This Land Is Your Land". One is the cleaned up version sung by grade schoolers, while the others include lyrics deemed too commie for Flag day celebrants. Bruce did a version of the school kid one, and then discovered the alternative lyrics version, and of course immediately went to work on the alternative version. Unfortunately, Bruce tried to mix in Guthrie in on the track along with other living celebs. He botched the mixing terribly. Nonetheless and more for historical reasons both versions are included on my Bruce mix.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
But could Google be overrated? Yes, they have integrated my email with my blog I suppose, but let's look at some of their "target advertising". In the right margin of my email I notice a site that intends to teach me how to dance salsa. Over the last 7 or 8 years my feelings about salsa have grown from vague interest, to frustration and disappointment around my attempts at the most basic moves, to a full grown, mature hatred. I literally just encouraged my fiance to go salsa dancing with our downstairs neighbor who openly hits on her just to allow some outlet for her salsa instinct that doesn't involve me. But fair enough that Google doesn't know that. I'm probably in the demographic of the salsa student so I'll let it pass.
On to the next bit of advertising: a site that promises to teach me the secrets of training Karelian bear hunting dogs. I own neither a dog nor have much use for bear hunting partners of any species. Enough said on that one...
Thus I am brought to my favorite bit of advertising, targeted with the precision of a laser guided stealth missile fired by a crazed and drunken Central Asian dictator who thinks he is playing Mario Cart: it's the professional website of a one, Dr. Edmund Kwan. Dr. Kwan offers Thermage, the only none invasive plastic surgery technology that promises to preserve my youthful appearance and my Asian heritage. I of course am white, but maybe I'll give Dr. Kwan a shot. Dr. Kwan's approach is subtle and sensitive. Dr. Kwan knows "preserving ethnicity is the biggest concern of Asians having plastic surgery". Does that mean Asians can age into white people? Will I age into hottie Brazilian chick? Who knows? In a section of the website called ethnic identity, aka classic Kwan, Kwan writes that Asian cosmetic surgery was often done in beauty parlors, then he sights some financial statistics about Asian American buying power (for no particular reason), then he deftly and delicately notes that some Asian Americans want to look more white and some don't thus appealing to the entire spectrum of what he views as his potential clientele. He then emphasizes the subtlety of his work again. I had just wanted to send an email about meeting up for beers later, but now that Goolge has presented me with this, I'm hooked.
Before I go for the full tummy tuck, I better shift the homebase of Blue Fish Canoe to Kyle's job. Stay tunned for the new url.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Things that are great: a Worcester boy and Jesse Berkett little league alum, Andy Ross, winning a grammy.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
1. See articles around any Fenway home opener.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I brought “Name that Thing” to the Minnow today. I’m training the Minnow, an 8 year old student in a local inner city school, to play Boogle, dominos, and to make paper airplanes (that is the Jedi arts more generally). He took to it like a bird to flight. Next week: blogging.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
I am very rarely moved by art. I like Impressionism; I enjoy pictures of naked women, landscapes, seascapes, and can almost pretend to like Jackson Pollock. But I saw an exhibit of the work of Otto Dix and I must admit it was really cool. His is anti-war and stresses the great need for better looking prostitutes in Weimer
Monday, January 08, 2007
I arose this morning in my friend’s apartment and was greeted by a gaseous funk. It was natural gas, but not the usual kind found around me, but the kind that lights your stove. I thought the stove was on, but a quick examination revealed it was not. I assumed my nose had become unaccustomed to NYC and it was nothing to worry about.However, it turns out it was a big to-do. The entire city smelled like gas and the masses were in an uproar. One New Yorker, an accountant named Michael Williams, reportedly postponed a cigarette break for fear of blowing up the entire city! Naturally, NYC officials blamed
However, the whole episode brings back fond memories of the mysterious and still unidentified maple syrup smell in
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
I’ve been staying at the Smoked Salmon’s mom’s apt and working out of the local Starbucks. I’m not a coffee drinking and the tea at Starbucks is undrinkable, thus I am forced to review the Starbucks megacorp in the only way I interact with it: as a public bathroom with internet access. As a public bathroom with internet, I must say often the lines for the shitter are long, the condition of the space like a back alley in the Mumbai Red Light District, and the internet overpriced ($10/hr!). On the other hand, Starbucks is the only widely accessible public john with internet, and the couch at this Starbucks is surprisingly comfortable. All in all, I give it a B-.