Bluefish Canoe Midterm Election Guide ‘06

I plan to vote for candidates whose accents most closely resemble my own. Just to give you some idea of this profile: my mother was a Berber and my Papa a Cossack, but I was raised amongst the Saami reindeer herders of artic Finland (your people might call my people “Lapps” but that term causes us great offense after centuries of persecution by the barbaric Swedes who used that word). So typically it’s quite obvious who will get my vote. In the event two candidates have accents equally similar to my own, I just vote for the tallest male. I encourage you to do the same.