With this time we prove something by science!
http://earshotpresents.com/wp/category/contributions/bluefish-canoe/
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Two mini posts and I regular sized post
As the title says, there are two mini posts and a regular sized post at the new site.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
New Post
We got a new post. Also anonymous commenting has been made possible thanks to our friends at Earshot!
http://earshotpresents.com/wp/category/contributions/bluefish-canoe/
http://earshotpresents.com/wp/category/contributions/bluefish-canoe/
Monday, September 21, 2009
BFC bought out
BFC inc. has a new home. All new posts will be at:http://earshotpresents.com/wp/category/contributions/bluefish-canoe/. We're big time!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Strange Map
But yet another great Strange Map. How do I get on the Waterslide of Weak Morals? It looks awesome.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
How Mike Boddicker Saved America
Here I present a scenario whereby Mike Boddicker, a major league pitcher from the 1980's and early 1990's, saves our beloved country. Part 1 of the scenario is historically factual, and Part 2 is a projection into the future based on thousands of simulations (in my mind).
Part 1: The Past
In 1988, Lou Gorman, then General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, trades Sox prospects, Brady Anderson and Curt Schilling, to the Baltimore Orioles for Mike Boddicker. Brady Anderson goes on to spawn rumors homosexuality and steroids, and have a pretty good career for an Oriole. Curt Schilling has a Hall of Fame career, and after proving he can win World Series and beat the Yankees, he returns to the Red Sox via trade in 2004. Schilling is heroic for the Sox leading Boston to 2 World Series victories. However, because of his long absence from the team he's always viewed as an outsider, a hired hand; true fan-player love is reserved for homegrown players, or at least players who made their name in Boston.
By August 2009 Curt Schilling has retired, and beloved senator Ted Kennedy has died leaving a Senate seat vacant. Curt Schilling has used his status as a baseball player to publicly voice his conservative political opinions, and Schilling coyly suggests the possibility that he might run for Ted Kennedy's vacant Senate seat.
Part 2: The Future
Schilling responds to the call from The Masses and enters the Senate race (though it turns out The Masses consist of only him and his many calls to Sports talk radio). However, because he never really was a Boston guy (he was born in Alaska for Christ's stake!) he loses the race for Senator. Historians conclude that if he had spent his entire career in Boston he would have won the Senate race, and but for the trade for Mike Boddicker, Schilling would have gone on to take down healthcare reform and destroy America. Thus, Mike Boddicker is revealed as the true hero that he has always been.
Part 1: The Past
In 1988, Lou Gorman, then General Manager of the Boston Red Sox, trades Sox prospects, Brady Anderson and Curt Schilling, to the Baltimore Orioles for Mike Boddicker. Brady Anderson goes on to spawn rumors homosexuality and steroids, and have a pretty good career for an Oriole. Curt Schilling has a Hall of Fame career, and after proving he can win World Series and beat the Yankees, he returns to the Red Sox via trade in 2004. Schilling is heroic for the Sox leading Boston to 2 World Series victories. However, because of his long absence from the team he's always viewed as an outsider, a hired hand; true fan-player love is reserved for homegrown players, or at least players who made their name in Boston.
By August 2009 Curt Schilling has retired, and beloved senator Ted Kennedy has died leaving a Senate seat vacant. Curt Schilling has used his status as a baseball player to publicly voice his conservative political opinions, and Schilling coyly suggests the possibility that he might run for Ted Kennedy's vacant Senate seat.
Part 2: The Future
Schilling responds to the call from The Masses and enters the Senate race (though it turns out The Masses consist of only him and his many calls to Sports talk radio). However, because he never really was a Boston guy (he was born in Alaska for Christ's stake!) he loses the race for Senator. Historians conclude that if he had spent his entire career in Boston he would have won the Senate race, and but for the trade for Mike Boddicker, Schilling would have gone on to take down healthcare reform and destroy America. Thus, Mike Boddicker is revealed as the true hero that he has always been.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Polliwog
The Smoked Salmon had a wonderful little, ehh, Polliwog (?) the other day. When The Smoked Salmon was pregnant old dudes approached me all the time and said things like, "oh, man, it's all over...you're life is over." The female version of this was worse. Women approached The Smoked Salmon and launch into unsolicited descriptions of the horrors of their spawning.
So far none of this is has proven true. The delivery was painful but bearable thanks to modern medicine, and for the moment, I am alive.
So far none of this is has proven true. The delivery was painful but bearable thanks to modern medicine, and for the moment, I am alive.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Anti-hippie website
Check it out. It's a website designed to prevent hippie genes from disseminating in the wider species pool. A little heavy handed, but I can see where they're coming from.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Why some people suck
I've been thinking recently about how it's possible for a certain person I know to suck so wholly and with such great magnitude. He's not an angry man, nor particularly difficult, yet in douche bagary he's off the charts. His day from beginning to end seems to revolve around asserting himself as the alpha male, and all around jackass.
He couldn't always have been like this. To get to his station he must have been hard working and thinking at one stage. How is it that with some people age brings them a cautious wisdom (or at least the craggy looks that would suggest such), and some just become asses? I have a theory that in his youth, insecurities acted as a filter blocking some of his more douchie behavior as well as his weaker, hack thoughts. When he concocted some ridiculous thought, nerves caused him to second guess himself and delayed him from acting. With some reflection, he may have been able to see the error of his idea and move on to something else. His brain may have imposed its own natural selection of terrible ideas until finally he stumbled on a reasonable one.
Now he's old and in a position of power. He's accustom to positive feedback and he's internalized it. He's conquered the insecurities of youth and gained confidence. Ideally, this is a good thing--certainly it's a nicer way to live for him--but there are no longer any mental evolution. Thoughts akin to giraffes with short necks or large stupid flightless birds are proliferating. We're in an ice age. We can't have a quagga in charge.
I should note that if this theory is in any way true, then insecurities although not pleasant are actually a good thing. Some of the smartest people I know detest themselves. Think of the converse. Take comedians like Eddie Murphy who start off good and tormented, and then grew old and made fat suit movies. Take rock stars. There was a moment in the late 1980s documented in the Raddle and Rum album/tour movie where Bono added the lyrics "all I have is a red guitar, three cords, and the truth," to the already mediocre, All Along the Watchtown. Could one find a better way to announce a complete loss of self awareness?
He couldn't always have been like this. To get to his station he must have been hard working and thinking at one stage. How is it that with some people age brings them a cautious wisdom (or at least the craggy looks that would suggest such), and some just become asses? I have a theory that in his youth, insecurities acted as a filter blocking some of his more douchie behavior as well as his weaker, hack thoughts. When he concocted some ridiculous thought, nerves caused him to second guess himself and delayed him from acting. With some reflection, he may have been able to see the error of his idea and move on to something else. His brain may have imposed its own natural selection of terrible ideas until finally he stumbled on a reasonable one.
Now he's old and in a position of power. He's accustom to positive feedback and he's internalized it. He's conquered the insecurities of youth and gained confidence. Ideally, this is a good thing--certainly it's a nicer way to live for him--but there are no longer any mental evolution. Thoughts akin to giraffes with short necks or large stupid flightless birds are proliferating. We're in an ice age. We can't have a quagga in charge.
I should note that if this theory is in any way true, then insecurities although not pleasant are actually a good thing. Some of the smartest people I know detest themselves. Think of the converse. Take comedians like Eddie Murphy who start off good and tormented, and then grew old and made fat suit movies. Take rock stars. There was a moment in the late 1980s documented in the Raddle and Rum album/tour movie where Bono added the lyrics "all I have is a red guitar, three cords, and the truth," to the already mediocre, All Along the Watchtown. Could one find a better way to announce a complete loss of self awareness?
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Happy Birthday Obama!
Happy birthday Barack Obama! BFC LLC. has repaid our Federal bailout to commemorate this occasion. Obama is 48 years old.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
T&G
I'm studying for an oral exam tomorrow, but I would like to make some points. Firstly, I will reiterate my love for the Worcester T&G sports writers and my distaste for the leaches at the Boston Globe.
But the T&G is more than just a resource for sports. The Worcester T&G owns the url: www.telegram.com which is commendable in its own right. Moreover, the T&G has the most telling web page nesting structure known to man. From the left, its main subcategories are, "home," "news," (a category regarded as non-redundant), "local," and then "deaths." As a subcategory within deaths we have my favorite section other than sports, the court records section. The court records have a special place as Worcester's answer to facebook. It appears members of the Campos clan have been in trouble--a youth for driving without a license, and a Campos in his prime on an assault and battery charge.
For reasons that are unclear, as another subcategory within deaths, we find World News.
But the T&G is more than just a resource for sports. The Worcester T&G owns the url: www.telegram.com which is commendable in its own right. Moreover, the T&G has the most telling web page nesting structure known to man. From the left, its main subcategories are, "home," "news," (a category regarded as non-redundant), "local," and then "deaths." As a subcategory within deaths we have my favorite section other than sports, the court records section. The court records have a special place as Worcester's answer to facebook. It appears members of the Campos clan have been in trouble--a youth for driving without a license, and a Campos in his prime on an assault and battery charge.
For reasons that are unclear, as another subcategory within deaths, we find World News.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Celebration
I just celebrated moving into a lead paint free apartment by licking the wall. It tasted ok.
Move
The most recent drop off in postings is due to a move the Smoked Salmon and I recently undertook. We got movers who were of the skater-punk sort. One had a tattoo of a naked woman surrounded by bottles of whiskey and heroin needles. Naturally, I entrusted all my stuff to them with some reservations, but they turned out to be great movers! The best I've ever worked with. They could carry two boxes of books stacked up, behind their backs--amazing.
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