Sunday, November 05, 2006

Western Vigilantism Goes 21st Century

If you’re like many of my computer science minded friends in the late 90s you can look at just about any problem and think: how can the web remedy this? Problems like the oppressive expense of music and beer were fixed with Napster and homebrew kits available online. The homebrew left you drunk, but with an odd burning in your throat and asshole (a story for another time, maybe). If you’re like many of my friends in the late 90s and a racist with an inflated sense of your own voice in the national discourse, then this is a great time. You may now take you delusions to action at It’s a website setup by the State of Texas that allows citizens to monitor cameras along the Texas-Mexican border to watch for potentially illegal border crossings.

I’d like to combine this Minuteman software with the sports gambling by giving the Mexicans little numbers and taking bets on who makes it. Young men with supple strawberry picking fingers will be given even odds, while pregnant women and the crippled will get 1 in 10 at least. Obviously any attempt to influence the outcome of runs you’ve bet on by calling the border patrol during the run will be considered unethical. This will be far more extreme than riding a stupid snowboard. X-Games be dammed, and make way for the Mex-Games!

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