Monday afternoon star professional athlete, A, was caught injecting steroids into his arms, legs, and buttocks while relaxing in a crowded city park. Despite photo and video evidence from a variety of tourists as well as a bewilderingly slow government prosecutor who recovered the needles and empty steroid bottles (jugs really) from the scene and then put them into a secret vault under the
Authorities have agreed to drop all charges against A in exchange for an apology from A released by A’s agent where A apologies for uttering harmless statements which were then misconstrued by the media. This has not been a distraction to the team, A's agent added. However, A’s famous coach C has suspended A for one half of Tuesdays practice.
All of this comes in the context of A’s off season trial for selling a nuclear device to a group of known terrorists. Owner, O, bought the courthouse where the trial took place and charged admission to everyone in attendance including the judge leading to the mistrial.
In a twist that no one would have bet on 10 years ago, David Wells appears to be the cleanest professional athlete.