Jüctencriedden

A friend of mine, the Monstrous Falafel, used a great German word the other day: jüctencriedden. How could a man who speaks no German use a word that was understood by a group of people who also speak no German, you ask? How did we even know it was a German word? Allow me to define the word and its authenticity will be self-eveident.

jüctencriedden \YUK-tin-CRI-den\, gender neuter, noun:
1. The scenario whereby one is hanging out with his wife and one of his wife's female friends who has brought along her new boyfriend. One feels pressure to hang out with the new boyfriend due to ones shared gender. The new boyfriend turns out to be a bit of a douche bag, and this goes unrecognized by your wife because of the convenience of putting the dudes together while she socializes with her friend. Inevitably, the douche bag new boyfriend does not like sports and becomes aggressive at any mention of professional baseball.

Sea Urchin

Since the early 1980s lobstermen in Maine have supplemented their income by diving for sea urchin which they sell to Japanese restaurants. Locally, sea urchin are known as "whore's eggs." Last week on a visit to Maine, I asked lobstermen M.H. why they gave that nickname to the seemingly already derisively named sea urchin. M.H. replied, "because that's what they look like."

McCain's foreign policy

In this very short article written in May, Fareed Zakaria outlines how foreign policies under Obama and McCain might differ using actual policy statements made by the candidates. The article foreshadows the strong words McCain used against Russia this week, and explains how the logical extensions of those words might play out. For instance, McCain supports thowing Russia out of the G8 and isolating China. FZ explains real differences so simply. If you think engaging your enemies diplomatically can prevent war, vote for Obama. If you'd like to undo presidents Nixon and Reagan's greatest foreign policy achievments, and live in a more polarized, paranoid world, then you should vote for McCain.

Strange Maps

May I divert your attention to a far superior blog.

Gold: It's not just for teeth anymore

If there is someone keeping track of this (and I'm sure there is), Baltimore may produce athletes with unprecedented numbers of medals this year. Michael Phelps is from Rogers Forge which is basically part of Baltimore. This website lists other B-more Olympians but somehow misses Carmelo Anthony. Carmelo Anthony has a special place in the heart of the city thanks to his many marijuana related scandals and his community outreach on behalf of the stop snitching movement.

By Popular Demand: The D-Man in Action

Here he is. My old prof turn internationally renown loon, the vertical farmer himself.

Mayor of Detroit

The sitting mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, was recently jailed for violating his parole by going to Canada. He intends to continue running the city from jail pledging "the government will function as usual." As a sometime resident of Baltimore, it pains me to hear news of another city taking on greater shame than B-more. And what about Worcester, how have we never thought of this?

Prez Poll

For something nicely uplifting, check out the USA Today interactive, and click on northern Red States. Can we elect members to the Electoral College based on the derivative of polling curves? It looks like S. Carolina may even be slightly blue.

Zink

It's time for Charlie Zink. I love Clay Buchholz, but Wake and Zink would be awesome together. As if this was a real blog, I will call them Wink.

Worst Acronym Ever

The aids linked to injection drug experience (ALIVE) is a study bent on annoying every junkie in Baltimore. It's also the most awkward and cruelly ironic acronym ever. However, for the participants for whom the title will not apply in the very near future and who are very much aware of that possibility, the acronym maybe forgivable. The men have already been asked if they're men and the women already asked if they are in fact women so we know the participants to have senses of humor at least.

Cat BMI

Does anyone how to calculate a cat BMI? I'm concerned my cat is fat, but then again, I don't really know what he should weigh.